Last year about this time, I met a woman who burst into tears at the thought of all the work she had ahead of her in the coming weeks.  I do my best to keep it out of my mind, but the truth is the days are ticking away and the rush will be here before we know it.  Today I stopped at Walgreen’s to get our Halloween candy, and lurking in the next aisle were the lighted Christmas trees.  I ran for cover in the opposite direction.

As we look ahead to the next two months, eight weeks, 61 days, 1,464 hours or 87,840 minutes (I could have given you the seconds, but that thought made my heart race too much), we need to break it down into manageable chunks or we will break down like my friend.  So, one day (or even one step) at a time should be our mantra.

The most beneficial minutes of these next 61 days will be the ones we spend in gratitude and prayer–gratitude for our countless blessings, and prayer for God’s grace to enter into our daily lives and sustain us.  I’ve found that on the days that begin with prayer, I handle things so much better.  The circumstances may not be any different, but I know I move through them with greater humor and grace.

Perhaps the first item on our holiday to-do list should be to set aside time every morning to reconnect with our Creator.  Let’s sit in that peace, and carry it with us through the day.  And one day will lead to another, and eventually, we’ll live our way to a blessed Christmas Day.

“Why It’s Okay (Actually, Essential) to Put Yourself First” is a wonderful article recently published on Oprah.com.  The author, Valerie Monroe, tells a compelling story of how she “learned the hard way to put myself first.”

There are really two selves to consider here, one the “self”: that woman, wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter who is always putting others first, and; the “Self”: that marvelous, unique person who has been created by God and whom God constantly invites into deeper relationship, and fuller expression, in life.

Take for example the sisters in scripture who embody these two selves:  Martha and Mary.

In Luke’s Gospel, we read: “But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.’” 

Let’s rewind a bit and take a look at the scene that took place before Jesus’ remark to Martha. When we first met Martha, she was running around her house hosting Jesus and his disciples. Martha was trying to be a good hostess; after all, she had a celebrity in her midst! In her whirlwind of activity, she noticed her sister, Mary, had seated herself at the foot of Jesus and was enjoying his teaching. Noting Jesus’ hold on Mary’s attention, Martha asked him to intercede with Mary and ask her to contribute to the work of entertaining their guests. Instead, Jesus turns his rebuke to Martha, and seems to judge her efforts as unimportant.

How hurtful and confusing! Martha was doing what she’d been raised to do—prepare a lovely table for her guests—and doing it well, no doubt. Yet the teacher whom she admired seemed unsympathetic to her plight. Imagine the sting of embarrassment in her heart, the flush of red on her cheeks, and the tears that filled her eyes as she turned away from Jesus.

We cannot hear the tone of voice with which Jesus speaks to Martha. If she was harried and unable to enjoy herself at the party, perhaps his words were spoken with compassion. Perhaps he was inviting her to relax a bit and enjoy the fellowship of the gathering, and not let the tasks of entertaining consume her. This is good advice for everyday of life, not just when hosting a party. Martha, so occupied with serving others, needs to tend her “self” so that she won’t get burned out.

Perhaps Mary’s is the better choice, or at least should be the first choice in our busy lives–to take time in prayer and quiet ourselves in the presence of God.  Mary
 is tending to her “Self”:  that part of her where God resides.

Our busy days challenge us to attend to the Self as well as the self.  When both are cared for, marvelous transformations take place.

Consider the next time we meet Martha in the Scriptures, in John’s Gospel:
“Martha said to Jesus, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him.’”

Just a few few short years after her dinner party, we meet a woman transformed by faith. Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and their brother Lazarus very much. When Lazarus died, Jesus came to visit the sisters, and Martha was the one who met him on the road and proclaimed her faith in him. The one busy and distracted by many things becomes the one to declare her faith so simply and plainly that Jesus performs one of the most powerful and dramatic miracles of his ministry. Her faith healed her brother, and her family. If Martha can be so changed, there is hope for all the Martha’s in the world!

And so it is essential, to be the fullest expression of God’s love to those around us, to put our Self first, and our self. 

Why It’s Okay (Actually, Essential) to Put Yourself First

Christmas will be here before we know it.  This is the year for mom to have a great Christmas–one that’s spiritually rich and deeply connected to the reason for the season.

Michael Gott sings of this special night on his Christmas CD.  The song is entitled, Christmas in the Trenches.  Both the music and the movie are fitting reflections this time of year as we are mindful of all those who serve our country in the military. 

Today I am thankful for:

• a home to entertain my family, raise our daughters, and work and live in;
• music that lifts my heart and mood;
• watching movies with my loved ones;
• my health.

For what are you grateful this Thanksgiving Day?

Rather than dwelling on what our economic condition will deprive us of this year, we can ponder the opportunity it gives us to recreate our Christmas observance.  For years I’ve heard friends and family (and me!) complain about the craziness of the season, how hectic and packed our days are, and how little time and energy we have to appreciate our loved ones.  We commiserate, but do little to change.  Perhaps the lack of disposable dollars will set the boundary we need to focus our time and efforts on events, people and things that are truly meaningful to us.

This year can be different.  Let’s take this opportunity to envision and create a great holiday season.  Let’s start by getting a clear picture of what the ideal Christmas season is.  This vision will be different for everyone, because it is a wonderful amalgamation of warm memories and joyful anticipation unique to each of us.  Here’s one way to get started.

Music is a wonderful source of inspiration, so pull out some of your favorite holiday music.  If you’re not ready to open that floodgate just yet, listen to something soft and contemplative.  As a compromise, I listen to my Hidden Christmas Tracks.  Take a few deep breaths and consider these questions:

1. The highest vision for my Christmas season is….

2. What must I become to empower this vision?

3. What must be released?

4. What must I embrace to empower this vision?

5. Anything else I need to know to empower this vision?

(This is a simple visioning process that can be applied to any concern or idea in your life.  My thanks to Michael Gott for this process.)

What’s important in this case is to allow meaningful experiences from past Christmases to come to mind, along with your hopes for this year’s observance.  Most likely, there are things you’ve always wanted to do during the holidays “if I had more time!” Try not to edit any idea as too outrageous or difficult to achieve.  Give yourself permission to dream.   Jot all these thoughts down and complete the first statement on the list.  Then, reflect on the answers to the next four questions.  Note how each focuses on the internal transformation necessary to move you from commiseration to empowerment in creating a great Christmas for those you love, and yourself.

This year, it will be different!

Coming up:  Create and Prioritize your Holiday To-Do List

Today, this quote was attributed to deceased Senator Kennedy, in a description of his style in navigating Capitol Hill politics.  But, it occurs to me, isn’t this also great advice for life in general, and holiday celebrations in particular?

We often hold in our minds the “perfect” idea for our family members, homes, work, etc.  At Christmas time, it gets even worse.  Maybe there are other possibilities–good enough possibilities–for what our holiday celebrations will look like.  Only when we’re willing to let go of the perfect celebrations will we be delightfully surprised to find that “good” may be the “best” after all.

Last year, due to the drop in the economy, my extended family decided to forego the annual gift exchange and hold a “white elephant” gift party.  While a few were sad at the prospect of going without “real presents,” others got into the spirit of it and the exchange turned into a silly laugh-fest.  In the end, I think we all realized that we didn’t need the “stuff” anyway; just being together was good enough.

Dear reader:

Think of a time you released the perfect and focused on the good?  How did that play out for you?

Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8

Think about good things. Too often, our thoughts drift to recounting our transgressions or replaying scenes of conflict, searching for the perfect retort—the “I wish I would have said …” comment that influence our opponents.

Or we live waiting for the proverbial “other shoe” to drop. Recently, I remarked to an acquaintance about the weather on a particularly beautiful day. He responded, “Yeah, if only it’d stay this way.”  As soon as good things happen, we brace ourselves for the next bad thing to come along.

St. Paul proposes a different mindset. Instead of focusing on what isn’t working, waiting for the next bad thing to happen, he suggests we turn our attention to what is working. What is working is evidence of the kingdom in our midst. Paul describes a vision of heaven, and it’s exciting to realize there’s proof positive of it in our world.

For today, pay attention to your thoughts. When they slip to the negative, or you find yourself replaying a difficult scene in your mind, stop. Turn your attention to something good or worthwhile in the situation, and focus on that. Be sure to pray for those you’re in conflict with; it is remarkable how God’s grace will release the tension when you do. 

At church I picked up the hymnal and randomly opened to It Came Upon a Midnight Clear.  Reading the full text of the song, I realized I’d never heard all four verses:

It came upon the midnight clear,
That glorious song of old,
From angels bending near the earth,
To touch their harps of gold:
“Peace on the earth, goodwill to men
From heavens all gracious King!”
The world in solemn stillness lay
To hear the angels sing.

Still through the cloven skies they come,
With peaceful wings unfurled;
And still their heavenly music floats
O’er all the weary world:
Above its sad and lowly plains
They bend on hovering wing,
And ever o’er its Babel sounds
The blessed angels sing.

O ye beneath life’s crushing load,
Whose forms are bending low,
Who toil along the climbing way
With painful steps and slow;
Look now, for glad and golden hours
Come swiftly on the wing;
Oh rest beside the weary road
And hear the angels sing.

For lo! the days are hastening on,
By prophets seen of old,
When with the ever-circling years
Shall come the time foretold,
When the new heaven and earth shall own
The Prince of Peace, their King,
And the whole world send back the song
Which now the angels sing.

The song spoke to me on many levels, and the one most profoundly was the last verse’s vision of the days to come when a new earth and heaven will proclaim the song the angels sing to us this day. 

A little web research revealed that It Came Upon a Midnight Clear was written by Edmund Hamilton Sears in 1849. The carol started life as a poem written by its author who was a minister living in Massachusetts at the time. The music for It Came Upon A Midnight Clear was composed by American musician Richard Storrs Willis in 1859 who was inspired by the words of the poem.